Kol Kehillat Kernow
Voice of the Cornish Jewish Community
May 2003/Iyar 5763
Chairman's Remarks
There are some busy and exciting times ahead
for all of us and your
committee has been and will be working very hard to bring
all the planned
events to a successful conclusion. Although I was, unhappily,
unable to
attend the Communal Seder I heard how well received it had
been. On your
behalves I would like to say a special thank you to all those
people who put
so much effort into the food preparation, getting the hall
prepared both
before and after the service, and to David, of course, who
led the service.
I hope that in future events as many members of the
community as possible will come forward with ideas and, more
importantly,
offers of help. We are a small group, admittedly, but if we
all work
together we can make light of a heavy workload.
Our name (and fame) is spreading. I have been
approached by several phone
callers eager for information about Kehillat Kernow so that
they can make
suitable holiday arrangements. The Board of Deputies has also
asked for
additional information for its data base of Jewish Communities
in the United
Kingdom. As more and more Jewish people move to the
area, so our community will continue to grow and I hope that
you will
continue to give a warm welcome to all newcomers.
Shalom to you all.
Harvey
See the enclosed poster for the details of
the chief rabbi's visit in June, an event not to be missed!!!
The next page gives details of services for
the coming months with Shabbat timings for Truro - please
keep it safe. *
Regular Services at Truro Baptist Church:
*
Services are in the lounge or in the pre-school behind the
church, unless
otherwise stated.
Siddurs - if you have borrowed one please
bring it back, if you want to buy
one let us know and we'll organise it for you, if you
have one please bring
it to the service with you because we are really short of
siddurs during
most services! To buy ring Kathleen on 01872 273059.
Musings from Darlington
A Tale of Two Ditties
I never thought I would belong to two Jewish
communities - but as members of
Kehillat Kernow and Darlington Hebrew Congregation I guess
Aaron and I have
the best of both worlds. Not the twinning you might expect
and of course
given the physical distance of some 440 miles we don’t
have the problem of
which shul not to attend on Shabbat
On Home Ground I am half of the team that
leads our services so it is always
a pleasure to sit back and enjoy those so tunefully taken
by David
Hampshire. This year it was a double bonus to celebrate the
Communal seder
and the following Shabbat at Carnon Downs. A week later, back
for Shabbat in
Darlington, we were down a few regulars due to holidays but
still mustered a
membership turnout of 40% (12 people!)
Refreshed by the Cornish sun and wind I was
relaxed, ready to lead our
service with renewed vigour but faced our perennial problem
which this time
was more acute. I can’t sing (not in public anyway).
Not many of our
congregants can sing in tune. To make matters worse all (bar
one) of our
‘real’ singers were away, and that one, ‘Auntie
Doris’ had a very bad sore
throat. A service without song is like Chanucah without latkes
or Pesach
without matzo. But all was not lost as thankfully a latecomer
provided the
necessary melodic input both in terms of quality and volume.
The rest of us
joined in dutiful (but suspect) harmony
At moments like these I turn to page 570 in
the RSGB siddur, to the picture
of the beaked, be-tallised bird and the quote from Menachem
de Lonzano whose
thumbnail biography appears on page 613 in the glossary. Whether
the 613 is
significant I leave to those more learned than I but Profound
Blessings upon
Menachem as he gets my vote every time. He tells us: He whose
voice is bad
and unpleasant and who cannot perform hymns and songs according
to their
tunes and who cannot remember melodies, even to a man like
him it is
allotted to raise his voice.
Shalom to all our friends in Kehillat Kernow.
Look forward to seeing you
again in the summer
John Starr
Literary Pages
The Moshiach's Seudah - a story
Herschel and his wife have been invited to the final service
of the festival
of Passover presided over by his friend Dovvid and his wife.
There are four
young children also present. They greet the new arrivals joyfully,
all
talking at once. Dovvid welcomes his guests and motions them
into the room
where the Pesach table has sat throughout the days of the
festival. The
Moshiach is already seated in a corner of the room, but no
one is aware of
the Moshiach's presence.
Wine is poured for the opening blessings.
Each
participant has a copy of the booklet, which Dovvid
has prepared especially for this final night Seder.
Dovvid begins to read: ³We are gathered together on the
last afternoon of
Pesach, to sing, to reflect and to
prepare ourselves for the journey into the unknown and
unknowable. Let us begin.²
Everyone in the room participates fully, even
the youngest child. After the
singing of ŒAdir Hoo' comes the first blessing for
the first cup of wine.
³We bless the spirit of the world, who creates the fruit
of the vine.² As
they drink the wine they lean to one side, as is the custom.
Herschel, not a
regular wine drinker, downs his wine in one go. His wife has,
fortunately
agreed to drive home so he feels relaxed.
The Moshiach looks on impassively.
The next passages concern ŒThe Miriam
Tradition' and examine the important
role, which Miriam had played in the entire life of Moses
and thus, her
positive effect in the Exodus itself. Miriam's cup is
filled with Spring
Water in remembrance of Miriam's well that accompanied
the Israelites
through the wilderness years. After singing ŒKol Dodi'
(The Voice of My
Beloved), the second cup of wine is drunk, again in the reclining
position.
One glass is usually enough for Herschel; after two he is
beginning to get
distinctly light-headed.
A parable retold by Dovvid's favourite,
Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav, tells of
a great king who, getting separated from his ministers and
becoming lost
during a heavy downpour of rain, is given shelter in the humble
house of a
villager. When his ministers come looking for him after the
rain has
stopped, the king pours scorn on their efforts. The Moshiach
listens to the
story.
At this point a meal is served. Wine is served
with the meal and Herschel
eats and drinks. His wife is pleased to see that he is relaxing.
He has been
seriously ill and she wants him to unwind. She is grateful
to Dovvid and his
wife for their generous
hospitality and for the opportunity it offers Herschel to
loosen his
inhibitions. Everyone eats heartily. Even the few remaining
matzos are
consumed with relish. The service restarts and the third cup
of wine, the
cup of friendship, is poured and, after the blessing, is consumed.
Herschel
is now having serious
difficulties focusing on the words on the page, much to the
amusement of the
children. Nevertheless, everyone enjoys singing ŒAl Kol
Eleh' ³On the
honey and the thistle, On the bitter and the sweet, On our
little baby
daughter blessing I entreat², closely followed by ŒBashanah
Haba'ah If we
care, you and
me'. The next passages concern The Messiah. One of the
lines says: ³As long
as we do not pray in this way, as long as we do not love in
this way, The
Messiah will not come.² Once again, the Moshiach listens.
More songs are
sung. Dovvid asks Herschel to read from his favourite siddur.
Unfortunately,
to Herschel's inebriated eyes, the words blur into one
another; moreover,
when he turns pages he turns backwards, rather than forwards,
which confuses
him even more. Dovvid leans across to assist his friend but
spills a glass
of wine. It pours over a page of the siddur.
Dovvid is mortified. He would like to give Herschel a good
shaking, but he
is a guest so he busies himself with drying off the siddur
and shushing the
children who are giggling helplessly. The Moshiac remains
calm. The two
wives are slightly embarrassed by their
respective husbands.
Herschel, obviously shaken by the incident
with the siddur, has sobered up
dramatically and when they reach ŒYerushalayim Shel Zahav
Jerusalem of
Gold' he joins in with gusto, remembering the tune from
a record his sister
has given him. For the fourth cup of wine, Herschel drinks
non-alcoholic
grape juice. The
service ends with harmony restored. The Moshiac nods contemplatively.
At the
same time the Moshiac is also on a whirlwind tour of the world.
The Moshiac
is checking the balance. If the scales tip one particular
way then the
Moshiac will stay. If, on the other hand, they tip in the
opposite
direction, then the Moshiac will leave, never to return. If
the balance
remains even, then the Moshiac will return next year.
The Moshiac would like to stay, but there
is much that gives cause for
concern. The Moshiac witnesses addiction and bestiality, cruelty
and
destruction, egocentrism and faithlessness, greed and hunger,
indifference
and jealousy, killing of the most senseless kind and lust,
murder and
narcissism, over-indulgence and pain, quarrels and revenge,
suffering and tyranny, unreliability and vice, war and xenophobia,
yobbishness and zealotry.
There is also much that is praiseworthy. The
Moshiac sees evidence of
affection and blessings, concern and devotion, exuberance
and friendship,
godliness and honour, interaction and jocundity, kindness
and love,
motivation and neighbourliness, openness and perception, quality
and
responsiveness, sense and
thoughtfulness, unity and vision, wisdom and excitement, and
a yearning for
the zenith of human achievement. Even so, the Moshiac finds
the balance
tipping the wrong way. The Moshiac does not wish to abandon
the world.
Suddenly the Moshiac is back at the Seudah. The friends are
saying farewell
and the expressions of pleasure at the evening's outcome
are enough to
maintain the balance.
The Moshiac recalls the stories, the songs,
the blessings, the love. The
Moshiac will return next year. Elsewhere, the Moshiac sees
groups of people
eagerly waiting for the Messiah. But it is not we who are
waiting for the
Messiah.
It is the Moshiac who is waiting for us.
Harvey Kurzfield
Talmud Torah k'negged kulam
Although the monthly study group has come
to an end there is no reason why we can't get together as
Jews to study Torah. One way of doing this is to have a Torah
breakfast before the service. It is an opportunity to study
the passage before we get to the service and have discussions
which can inform the drusha during the service. All you need
to do is bring a Chumash - the different the translation the
better - and something dairy/vegetarian to share for breakfast.
The Torah breakfast will start at 9 a.m. and finish at 9.50
a.m. every Shabbat we have a service. Initially they will
be facilitated by David but very quickly they will be led
by those people attending the breakfast. When will they start?
Our first Torah breakfast will be on 14th
June, Shabbat Nasso, the focus
will be on Numbers 6 and will be an exploration of the Nazarite
vow.
Events page
MUSICAL AFTERNOON - 22nd June
At Carnon Downs Village Hall from 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. with refreshments
Ever got to grips with Hatikvah? This social
event - the first of its kind
for Kehillat Kernow - will be an opportunity for people to
get together and
sing, in some cases learn, songs in Hebrew. Everybody is welcome
- whatever
they feel about their voice! It's intended to be fun
and an opportunity to
share our favourite songs - even in Yiddish and Ladino.
GET OUT YOUR GREASE PAINT - 10th August
At the Liperts from 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. with refreshments
It's getting close to that time of year
when members of our community get a
chance to shine for the sake of art! The Literary Festival
is set for
Sunday, 10th August, from 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. in the lower garden
of the
Liperts. Poetry readings, musical renditions (song, dance
or musical
instruments), dramatic excerpts ought to be expected. Let
Pat Lipert know
what you are doing on the day by the last week in July so
that a programme
can be made up. Wine, cheese and juices will be served. All
members of our
community are welcome to participate, attend or better yet,
do both!
QUARTERLY EVENT: OPPORTUNITIES TO THINK NEW WAYS ABOUT ALL
THINGS JEWISH 7th
September
At Carnon Downs Village Hall from 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. with refreshments
Over the last few months the strength of the
monthly study group has been
dwindling. It is obviously not meeting the needs of people,
even with its
changed focus. Hence, the committee decided to try something
all together
different with series of three monthly events, with a speaker,
an
opportunity to question and reflect, and be refreshed physically
and
spiritually.
The first of these events will be on Sunday
7th September at Carnon Downs
Village Hall from 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. with full details to be
announced later.
HENCE, FROM NOW ON THERE WILL BE NO MONTHLY
STUDY GROUP ON THE LAST TUESDAY
OF THE MONTH.
MUSINGS FROM THE BAY
We all know kids ask uncanny questions and often their innocence
(or what
they've probably heard from their elders), affects their
preconceptions of
that not so strange presence in Cornwall, the ŒJewish
alien'. At least,
that's what it sometimes feels like when you're
entering a Religious
Education class during one of our community's visits
to local schools. They
are often surprised when this vaguely familiar, school marm
type, looking
probably more like their grandmothers, visits them to talk
about some aspect
of Judaism. Good grief, we are not so alien after all. We
eat, drink water -
and no, I won't say it, Œif they prick us we do
bleed.' And we make Œgreat
egg-bread' as well. When we leave, not only have they
gained a greater
understanding of our Jewish community, but they also think
we are pretty
Œneat'.
Some of their questions, though, make one
chuckle or cringe, and I thought you might enjoy reading a
few of them.
Do Jews always write backwards?
Can Jews wear any colour besides black? (I
wore a black dress to one class
but quickly changed to a coloured number thereafter)
Do you have to take off your shoes when you
go to synagogue?
Can Jewish kids play football? Watch videos?
Play outside?
Why can't girls have a bris?
Do children have to behave at services? How
are Jewish kids punished?
What do you eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner?
Do all Jewish men work in business? Are all
Jews rich?
Where do you go when you die?
Are all Jewish grandads moody? Cos mine is!
Pat Lipert
If you are interested in supporting school's
work ring Harvey - we are
always in demand.
Important Dates for your diary:
June 6/7th Shavuot
June 22nd Musical Afternoon
June 30th/July 1st Rosh Chodesh Tammuz
July 17th Fast of Tammuz - the three
weeks begin
July 30th Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av
August 6/7th Fast of Av (21.01 hrs - 21.48 hrs)
August 10th Literary Festival
August 13th Festival of Av
August 28th/29th Rosh Chodesh Ellul
September 7th Quarterly Event
September 26th/27th/28th
Rosh Hashanah 5764
September 29th Fast of Gedalia
October 4th Shabbat Shuvah
October 5th/6th Yom Kippur
October 10th/11th/12th
Sukkot
October 17th/18th Shemini Atseret
October 19th Simchat Torah
October 20th Issur Chag
October 27th Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan
Recipes for a change
Here's one of Cornwall's own! CORNISH HENS
WITH COUSCOUS AND FIGS
Source: The Low-fat Jewish Cookbook by Faye
Levy- Clarkson Potter/Publishers
NY 1997 ISBN 0-517-70364-5
Yield: 4 servings
* 2 1/4 cups chicken broth
* 1 2/3 cups couscous (1- 10 ounce package)
* 1 cup dried figs (preferably dark ones such as Mission figs,
diced)
* 1 1/2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
* 3 green onions (scallions), chopped
* Salt and freshly ground black pepper
* 2 Cornish hens, each about 1- 1/2 pounds
* 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
Bring the broth to a boil in a large saucepan.
Stir in the couscous and
figs. Cover the pan, remove from the heat, and let stand 5
minutes. Fluff
the couscous with a fork. Add the lemon rind and green onions
and stir with
a fork. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Let stuffing
cool completely.
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
Discard excess fat from the
hens. Rub hens with pepper, then spoon 1/3 to 1/2 cup stuffing
into each
hen, packing it in gently. Reserve remaining stuffing mixture
at room
temperature.
Set the hens in a small roasting pan or shallow
baking dish just large
enough to contain them. Roast the hens, basting 2 or 3 times,
for 45 minutes
or until the thickest part of a drumstick is tender when pierced
with a
skewer and juices that run from drumstick are clear; if juices
are pink,
roast hens for a few more minutes and check again. During
roasting, add 2
tablespoons hot water to pan juices if they brown.
To serve, spoon the stuffing from the hens
onto a paltter. Cut each hen in
half lengthwise with poultry shears. Arrange the pieces over
stuffing on
platter or plates. Cover and keep warm.
Heat the remaining stuffing mixture in a medium
skillet over low heat,
stirring gently with a fork, about 2 minutes; or heat it in
a covered dish
in the microwave. Serve in a separate heated dish.
From: Linda Shapiro (lss@coconet.com)
Shavuot Specials
CHEESE CAKE WITH MERINGUE FOR SHAVUOTH
Source: "OUGOT BE KHAMESH DAKOT"
(Cakes Prepared in 5 Minutes) by Ruth Yoles
* 4 eggs
* 1 pound cream cheese 9% (I use one 9% and one 5% or even
both 5%)
* 1 cream (shamenet)
* 1 tablespoon self raising flour
* 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 tablespoon of lemon juice
* Rind of a whole lemon
* 1 cup sugar
Well greased round cake pan (26 cm diameter)
I use a T- fal springform or a
square pyrex dish
1. Heat the oven to 180 degrees Celcius.
2. Mix one egg and 3 yolks with cheese, cream,
flour, vanilla, lemon juice,
lemon rind and 3/4 of cup sugar.
3. Pour the cake mix in the cake pan and bake
for 20 minutes.
4. Prepare the meringue by mixing well the
3 egg whites, then add sugar.
5. Spread the meringue on top of the cake,
return to the oven and continue
baking for 20 minutes.
6. After cooling, keep in the fridge.
From: Viviane & Israel Barzel (i_barzel@netvision.net.il)
KAOULETCH (ALSACIAN BRAIDED CAKE FOR SHAVOUTH)
* 1 pound flour
* 2 1/2 ounce sugar
* 1 pinch salt
* 5 ounce butter
* 1/4 liter milk
* 3/4 ounce yeast
* 1 3/4 ounce powdered almonds
* 1 3/4 ounce sugar
* 1 3/4 ounce butter
* 1 egg
* small amount of rhum
Prepare the dough with the first six ingredients.
Fill with a mixture made
of the next four ingredients.
Braid like a challah. Bake at 200 degrees
Celcius or 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
From: Viviane Barzel (i_barzel@netvision.net.il)
Many thanks to all our contributors this edition.
We greatfully receive all
recipes and suggestions. If you have difficulty with these
recipes e-mail
our contributors and I'm sure they'll be only too
happy to help, as they
were to send them to us!
P.S. If you know where we can get Cornish
Hens let us know - kosher of
course.
Torah Thoughts for Shavuot
This edition they are taken from the website
of the Chief Rabbi
(http://www.chiefrabbi.org/) so no one who meets him can say
they haven't
had an opportunity to read some of his stuff!!
Yitro - The politics of Revelation
The revelation at Mount Sinai - the central
episode not only of the parshah
of Yitro, but of Judaism as a whole - was unique in the religious
history of
mankind (Maimonides, Guide for the Perplexed, II, 33) [1].
Other faiths
(Christianity and Islam) have claimed to be religions of revelation,
but in
both cases the revelation of which they spoke was to an individual
("the son
of G-d", "the prophet of G-d"). Only in Judaism
was G-d's self-disclosure
not to an individual (a prophet) or a group (the elders) but
to an entire
nation, young and old, men, women and children, the righteous
and not yet
righteous alike.
From the very outset, the people of Israel
knew something unprecedented had
happened at Sinai. As Moses put it, forty years later:
Ask now about the former days, long before
your time, from the day G-d
created man on earth; ask from one end of the heavens to the
other. Has
anything so great as this ever happened, or has anything like
it ever been
heard of? Has any other people heard the voice of G-d speaking
out of fire,
as you have, and lived? (Deut. 4: 32-33). [2]
For the great Jewish thinkers of the Middle
Ages, the significance was
primarily epistemological. It created certainty and removed
doubt. The
authenticity of a revelation experienced by one person could
be questioned.
One witnessed by millions could not. (Judah Halevi, Kuzari,
I, 88) [3] G-d
disclosed His presence in public to remove any possible suspicion
that the
presence felt, and the voice heard, were not genuine.
Looking however at the history of mankind
since those days, it is clear that
there was another significance also - one that had to do not
with religious
knowledge but with politics. At Sinai a new kind of nation
was being formed
and a new kind of society - one that would be an antithesis
of Egypt in
which the few had power and the many were enslaved. At Sinai,
the children
of Israel ceased to be a group of individuals and became,
for the first
time, a body politic: a nation of citizens under the sovereignty
of G-d
whose written constitution was the Torah and whose mission
was to be "a
kingdom of priests and a holy nation."
Even today, standard works on the history
of political thought trace it
back, through Marx, Rousseau and Hobbes to Plato's Republic,
Aristotle's
Politics and the Greek city state (Athens in particular) of
the fourth
century BCE. This is a serious error. To be sure, words like
"democracy"
(rule by the people) are Greek in origin. The Greeks were
gifted at abstract
nouns and systematic thought. However, if we look at the "birth
of the
modern" - at figures like Milton, Hobbes and Locke in
England, and the
founding fathers of America - the book with which they were
in dialogue was
not Plato or Aristotle but the Hebrew Bible. Hobbes quotes
it 657 times in
The Leviathan alone. Long before the Greek philosophers, and
far more
profoundly, at Mount Sinai the concept of a free society was
born.
Three things about that moment were to prove
crucial. The first is that long
before Israel entered the land and acquired their own system
of government
(first by judges, later by kings), they had entered into an
overarching
covenant with G-d. That covenant (brit Sinai) set moral limits
to the
exercise of power. The code we call Torah established for
the first time the
primacy of right over might. Any king who behaved contrarily
to Torah was
acting ultra vires, and could be challenged. This is the single
most
important fact about biblical politics.
Democracy on the Greek model always had one
fatal weakness. Alexis de
Tocqueville and John Stuart Mill called it "the tyranny
of the majority". J.
L. Talmon called it "totalitarian democracy." The
rule of the majority
contains no guarantee of the rights of minorities. As Lord
Acton rightly
noted, it was this that led to the downfall of Athens: "There
was no law
superior to that of the state. The lawgiver was above the
law." In Judaism,
by contrast, prophets were mandated to challenge the authority
of the king
if he acted against the terms of the Torah. Individuals were
empowered to
disobey illegal or immoral orders. For this alone, the covenant
at Sinai
deserves to be seen as the single greatest step in the long
road to a free
society.
The second key element lies in the prologue
to the covenant. G-d tells
Moses: "This is what you are to say to the house of Jacob
and tell the
people of Israel. 'You yourselves have seen what I did to
Egypt and how I
carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to Me. Now, if
you obey Me
fully and keep My covenant, you will be My treasured possession,
for the
whole earth is Mine. You will be for me a kingdom of priests
and a holy
nation . . .'" Moses tells this to the people, who reply:
"We will do
everything the Lord has said." (Shemot Chapter 19 Verses
3-8) [4]
What is the significance of this exchange?
It means that until the people
has signified its consent, the revelation cannot proceed.
There is no
legitimate government without the consent of the governed,
even if the
governor is Creator of heaven and earth. I know of few more
radical ideas
anywhere. To be sure, there were sages in the Talmudic period
who questioned
whether the acceptance of the covenant at Sinai was completely
free.
(Babylonian Talmud Tractate Shabbat 88a) [5] However, at the
heart of
Judaism is the idea - way ahead of its time, and not always
fully realised -
that the free G-d desires the free worship of free human beings.
G-d, said
the rabbis, does not act tyrannically with His creatures.
(Babylonian Talmud
Tractate Avodah Zarah 3a) [6]
The third, equally ahead of its time, was
that the partners to the covenant
were to be "all the people" - men, women and children.
(Shemot Chapter 19
Verse 8) [7] This fact is emphasised later on in the Torah
in the mitzvah of
Hakhel, the septennial covenant renewal ceremony. The Torah
states
specifically that the entire people is to be gathered together
for this
ceremony, "men, women and children." (Devarim Chapter
31 Verse 12) [8] A
thousand years later, when Athens experimented with democracy,
only a
limited section of society had political rights. Women, children,
slaves and
foreigners were excluded. In Britain, women did not get the
vote until the
twentieth century. According to the sages, when G-d was about
to give the
Torah at Sinai, He told Moses to consult first with the women
and only then
with the men ("thus shall you say to the house of Jacob"
- this means, the
women (Mechilta D'Rabbi Ishmael - Yitro 2) [9]). The Torah,
Israel's
"constitution of liberty", includes everyone. It
is the first moment, by
thousands of years, that citizenship is conceived as being
universal.
There is much else to be said about the political
theory of the Torah (see
my The Politics of Hope, The Dignity of Difference, and -
forthcoming - The
Chief Rabbi's Haggadah as well as the important works by Daniel
Elazar and
Michael Walzer). But one thing is clear. With the revelation
at Sinai
something unprecedented entered the human horizon. It would
take centuries,
millennia, before its full implications were understood. Abraham
Lincoln
said it best when he spoke of "a new nation, conceived
in liberty, and
dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal."
At Sinai, the
politics of freedom was born.
To read this on line and subscribe to Covenant
and Conversation go to:
http://www.chiefrabbi.org/tt-index.html
Subject: Great Fractured bible stories
In the first book of the bible, Guinessis,
God got tired of creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of
Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but
a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout
history they had trouble with
the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be
led astray by a Jezebel like
Delilah.
Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where
they made unleavened bread which
is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on
Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not
admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
Then Joshua led the hebrews in the
battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when
Joshua told his son to stand still
and he obeyed him.
David was a hebrew king skilled at playing
the liar. He fought with the
Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives
and 700 porcupines.
Many thanks to Gloria and Milton for passing
on these real pupil blunders for our edification.
|